D. J. Herda

When someone posed the question on line as to why he is able to create good characters but can't create a decent story to save his soul, the Internet lit up with do-gooders, not the least of whom was one of my favorite spreaders of online misinformation. Here's what I told him.

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First, assuming the Queen of Wrong can read (which may be a stretch), I'm not sure why she feels you are only interested in the characters "as they are, not how they got to where they are now." You stated in your question that you're good at characterization, so what's Queenie's beef?

And, as for her implication that you need a course on "plotting," let me say that plotting isn't the be-all and end-all she apparently thinks it is. Plotting is storytelling, plain and simple. If you can tell a good story from beginning to end without losing your listener's interest, a plotting course will only slow you down in your development. Ask Herman Melville or Uncle Remus or even Beatrix Potter if they'd taken many courses on "plotting" throughout their lives. Uh-uh? That's what I thought.

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An inexperienced writer asked online the other day how he can find a writer to hire to write a book he'd enjoy reading. It sounded like an interesting question, so I thought I'd give answering him a shot.

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The first thing you need to do is find a writer with lots of book-writing experience, as well as one with both ghostwriting (ghosting) and editing savvy. Stay clear of beginning, wanna-be authors and people who can't string a sentence together without leaving a few typos behind to save their souls. Also, a writer experienced in all genres of books will be more flexible in approaching your project without messing it up. Teaching and reporting experience come in handy here, as well.

In short, if you want to hire someone to write a book even you would enjoy reading, hire the best. You'll pay for that privilege, but the experience and results will be worth it in the long run. Believe me!

Where can you find qualified candidates to consider for the job? You can look no further than right here on this Website. Find authors with all the qualifications you need, and contact them about what you're looking for them to do. You should have at least a rough storyline in mind (and on paper!) so you can share that right up front.  Read More 

A beginning writer who had received a request from a publisher to send from 50 - 100 pages of his book for review wanted to know which was preferable--sending more or sending less. Here's how I responded.

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Congratulations on an interesting question. It's so interesting, in fact, that it's nearly unique. Perhaps that's why every other respondent who sent you an answer is wrong—either in content or by omission.

The truth is that any publisher asking for 50 - 100 pages of a manuscript isn't looking for 10 pages pulled from here and 15 pages culled from there, as several respondents suggested you do. He wants the first 50 - 100 consecutive pages. That's because cherry-picking your "best" pages from the manuscript doesn't tell the editor how the book begins, how successful you are at grabbing the reader's interest and attention in a short period of time, and how logically and cohesively you string together your thoughts. I'm amazed that no other respondent took the time to research his or her answer before spitting it out into cyberspace—which is exactly where such nonsensical gibberish belongs. Read More 

Here's an unusual one, obviously asked online by someone with zero knowledge of the publishing industry. He wanted to know how publishers pay an author once he writes a book himself and takes it to them. Okay, kiddies and kiddiettes, here's the lowdown. My response:

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First of all, you don't "write a book yourself"; you write a book. See the difference? Now, are you sure you want me to continue here? Okay, you asked for it.

Second, you don't show your book to a publisher. You query a publisher with a pitch letter, detailing your book's merits. Then, you wait to see what kind of response you receive.

Third, if your query fell on receptive ears, you'll be told that the publisher is interested and would like to see the complete book (or, perhaps, the first few chapters). But, you don't "take it to them." You submit to them a digital copy (or a printed copy, in the rare event that the publisher requests it), unless you happen to be right down the street from Random House or Simon and Schuster and know one of the editors personally, in which case I stand corrected. Got that? Kool. Read More 

Someone wrote in the other day to say that, while he sees what he wants to write clearly in his mind, he doesn't know how to convey that image to readers. That's not at all an unusual experience. Here's what I advised him to do.

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Do you really want the answer? The only, one, true response? I wonder. But, what the hell, you asked for it, so here goes.

You learn how to write. Period.

It's as simple (and, of course, as complicated) as that. If you think anyone can actually give you a few "tips" so you can convey what's in your head to your readers so that they can understand and appreciate it, too, you're mistaken. It's your idea; it's your head; you have to be the one to do the heavy lifting. And, that's the only "tip" you need.

Okay, you ask, but how do I learn to write? Admittedly, if you're starting from a blank slate (or an empty knowledge bank), that won't be easy. If everyone could be a successful writer, everyone would be a successful writer. Very few of us have worked at this art for nearly half a century and learned how to do virtually everything there is to do to crank out good—no, make that great--stories, at least according to the reviewers. So, how do you take that giant leap? Read More 

What, you ask, is hard-boiled crime, anyway? Well, if you've never seen the film The Maltese Falcon with Humphrey Bogart playing detective Sam Spade, you should. Once you do, you'll know the answer to that question. And, become a lifelong fan of H-B crime.

Wikipedia defines hard-boiled crime roughly as a literary genre that shares some of its characters and settings with crime fiction (especially detective and noir fiction). The genre's typical protagonist is a detective who battles the violence of organized crime that flourished during Prohibition (1920–1933) and its aftermath, while dealing with a legal system that has become as corrupt as crime itself.

Notable hard-boiled detectives include such super-sleuths as Dick Tracy, Philip Marlowe, Sam Spade, and dozens of others.

The genre of hard-boiled fiction is nothing new. It made its debut into society in the form of early detective stories appearing initially in the "pulps" or populist magazines of the mid-1920s. The most successful of these publications was Black Mask, in which writers were influenced by the preexisting conventions of the western, nineteenth-century, urban drama. Adapting those conventions to the modern city, innovative novelists such as Dashiell Hammett and Carroll John Daly used the genre to explore the angst created by Prohibition and its resultant wave of crime, particularly organized or Mob crime. Read More 

Someone wanted to know why writing a book is so difficult, and he received an answer or two from other online respondents. One was way off the mark. Here's why.

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While I'm sure Mr. Zapata's response was well-intended, it's dead wrong. Sure, writing a book can be all those things he claims, including despair, frustration, and loneliness. But, he makes no allowance for variances between writers, a common shortcoming with newbies with little experience over short periods of time.

Let me explain where he goes wrong.

First, writing "a book" isn't difficult at all. You sit down, string some words together, and when you have assembled sixty thousand of them or more, you get up and announce to the world that you've written a book. If that's your goal, it's easy-peasy.

However, writing a good book takes considerably more effort and generally more time. That's because all the elements for writing a good novel or even a work of nonfiction work must be present to make it "soar." It has to make sense; it has to move the reader along; it has to provide value for the reader; it has to have a distinct beginning, middle, and end, and it has to provide a satisfactory conclusion. While doing all that, the author must also know the nuts and bolts of grammar, punctuation, syntax, storytelling, conflict and resolution, logic, organization, and all the other elements involved in the clarity and efficiency of writing. Read More 

I've heard people ask recently if a personal diary can be used as evidence in a court proceeding? Well, guess what. It can! And, if the opportunity presents itself, it will! Although people keep diaries and journals for various reasons, nearly all authors intend for them to remain private. That, after all, is the allure to "telling all." If no one but the owner ever reads it, the owner has no handicap on what he or she may choose to commit to writing. That's not the case in writing a blog, for example, where everything you commit to "paper" can eventually be read by someone else--and possibly many someone "elses."

But a diary is sacrosanct. Or, at least, so most people think. In truth, a diary or anything else you write for that matter can be used as evidence in a court of law. That doesn't mean it will be, and it doesn't mean that anyone can call upon you for any reason to deliver your diary as evidence in a trial. The diary must be relative to the case, and its entrance as evidence has to be approved by both attorneys and/or the judge. It must also have been obtained legally, meaning that your rights weren't violated through illegal search and seizure. Read More 

I was thinking the other day about how to write a dynamite first chapter, and I realized there are more ways to accomplish that task than there are oysters in the sea. But there's one sure-fire, can't-miss, absolutely foolproof way to pull it off. Interested? Okay, here it is.

Write it.

No kidding. Write your first chapter however you want, and then go back and cut it. Cut the chapter in half. And then cut it in half again. And keep cutting until it's one or two pages long. Or less. Far less.

I'm serious.

Nothing turns off a reader at the beginning of a book (short of horrendous writing, which is rampant among self-published authors and even some conventionally published ones) faster than a long, rambling first chapter. And, the antithesis (are you ready for this revelation?) is that nothing turns a reader on more than a short, punchy chapter that lays out the plot, introduces the main character, and sets the hook so the reader will need to continue reading.

Did you hear that?

He'll need to keep reading. Read More 

A writer recently asked what the best-looking typeface for books was. How would you have answered? Here's what I had to say.

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If what you mean by "for books" is to create a book for your personal use, use whatever font you like. The key in such a situation is to use something that's non-obtrusive so that the font doesn't slow down your writing by hampering your reading speed and, thus, your overall productivity.

If, on the other hand, what you mean by "for books" is actually to publish a book, numerous studies conducted over the eons have proven that serif fonts (such as Times New Roman, Courier, and Garamond among others) are easier, faster, and more enjoyable to read than are sans-serif fonts (such as Arial and others in all their iteration). And, since your goal in publishing a book is to entice readers to buy, read, and enjoy what you've written, why buck the odds? I picked up five books at random off the corner of my desk, and all five were produced with a serif typeface, most in 11 or 12 point Times New Roman, which size makes for easier reading than smaller or larger sized fonts. Read More 

Someone asked online the other day for suggestions for a title for his new third-person book, which he then went on for a sentence or two to describe. My reaction? Not positive. Here's what I said.

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You know, I read your question with a great deal of interest. I re-read it, and I read it again a third time. Now, I have a response for you. But, it's not without consequences. By that I mean that every pile-on advocate of Group Think will be jumping down my throat, saying, "How could you be so cold and cruel to someone who merely reached out to you for advice?" My response is simple.

Horse hockey!

Now, I'm going to tell you why. Because it's the truth. And to those of your respondents who can't accept the truth, I say you have no business chiming in until you can.

And, for you, my dear confused author-in-the-making, I have a question. How can any author, writing in any POV, who knows what his story is about, how it plays out, and how it's been meticulously and painstakingly crafted, ask a group of absolute strangers to name his child for him? Are you kidding me? What am I missing here? Read More 

Someone went online the other day to ask how to write a book scene. Not surprisingly, there weren't a ton of people jumping up to help him with an answer. For good reason, as you'll see from my response.

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How do you write a book scene? Simple. You sit down at your computer (make sure it's turned on first). You open up a blank page. And, you start writing at the beginning and continue until the end.

I told you it was simple.

What's not so simple is getting the responsive answer to your question you seek from someone else. That's because there is no responsive answer from someone else. You're the writer. You create the scene from the thoughts, visions, and images in your head. You do the heavy lifting. You take the reader wherever it is you want him to go. Read More 

A newbie author-to-be went online to ask his community a question: Will his specific Sci-Fi/Fantasy storyline be popular or not? Unfortunately, some ne'er-do-wells got to him before I could, but hopefully I straightened him--and them--out. Here's my response.

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Kudos to those respondents who answered your question positively—and accurately. It's true, the story you describe ain't new, and it's far from detailed enough for anyone of any intellect to give you a straight-up response. As those people have pointed out, the popularity of your story isn't in the storyline, which has been done to death, but rather in the telling. In other words, there are no new ideas under the sun. Do a good job, and you have a good chance of turning out a good book. Whether or not it will be "popular" (aka, financially successful) is anybody's guess.

Now, rat droppings to the initial respondent who greeted your question so negatively and imposed her own biases (which are obviously many) into her response. And the same to those who agreed with her, lavishing praise upon her lame and irresponsible answer. Here's where the Queen of Wrong missed the boat yet again.

First: The opening remark of Why are you even bothering to think about this? is ridiculous. Is she kidding? If a writer doesn't bother "to think about" the premise, storyline, and plot of his novel before setting out to write it, he's an idiot. Why would anyone with all his screws firmly attached and tightened say otherwise? Of course, you should think about it. Right now. Up front and ahead of any writing you may be pulling at the reigns to begin. Read More 

Someone asked me the other day if it's true that he should never proofread his own work. Of course, I had an apoplectic response for him. Here it is.

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Are you kidding? Where on earth did you get that notion? If you don't proofread your own work, who will? And how will anyone catch those errors in logic and even in syntax of which only you as the author are aware? If you don't proofread your own work, how will you ever know if it's ready for Prime Time … or the wastebasket? If you don't proofread your own work, how will you ever advance in skills as a writer? Or even know if you're making headway?

Now, if your question is simply a matter of being poorly crafted and what you really meant to ask was, "Why shouldn't you be the only one to proofread your own work?" my response is simple. I can't begin to tell you if you haven't already figured that out on your own. I return to my opening statement: Are you kidding? Read More 

Someone asked in a forum the other day how he can write a novel. He has been unable to get a good story line or style and hopes to get some help. As usual, he received plenty of responses, not many of which applied to him. Here's what I wrote.

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Well, bad novel-writer, congratulations. You have accomplished two things with one question. First, you admitted your weakness, and that's a definite plus. Second, you elicited a number of ridiculous responses from people who should know better. Lynda was the only one who hit the nail on the head. I'll take her advice of, If you're bad at writing novels, why try? and go one step further.

Don't try.

Huh? I can hear the naysayers and wannabe writers (and shoot-from-the-lip responders) castigating me already. How dare you? What gives you the right? Why would you say such a harsh and cruel thing? Why put down someone for simply asking a question?

To them I say, "Grow up and get a life." Read More 

The question came up recently as to whether or not authors must repay their book publishers for unsold books. As usual, there were plenty of answers to go around--and most of them were wrong. Here's how I corrected them.

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Yes! Unlike the response from the Queen of Wrong and so many other respondents who, if I'm reading your question correctly, missed the boat entirely.

If you were talking about paying the publisher back for any advance against royalties received by the author but not earned out through the book's sales, the answer would be "no." Publishers don't traditionally require authors to repay unearned balances from the advances they pay their authors. But, you don't mention advances, royalties, or unpaid balances in your question; so, that's not at all the question you asked. Read More 

I was perusing some online writing forums the other day when I came across an interesting question. The writer wanted to know what responsibilities a book reviewer has while reviewing a particular work. Not many people had answered the question (in fact, only two), and one of them was way off base. So, of course, I had to chime in. Here's my take on the subject.

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Well, while one of your respondents may know Hindi (his self-description, not mine), he certainly doesn't understand English. You asked about the responsibilities a writer has while writing a book review; he responded by explaining how to critique another writer's work. Two different animals.

Fortunately, another respondent to your question, Rodney, hit the nail on the head. His response is on-point and accurate. To that I would add a few things.

First, a book reviewer must be inscrutably honest at all times and not let a book's subject matter influence or taint his or her review. That may sound simple, but it could be unnervingly difficult. I've reviewed some books in which I didn't care for the author's literary style, but the books themselves were quite good—informative and entertaining. So, I overlooked my personal biases in stylistic preference and gave those books positive reviews. Read More 

Someone asked online the other day how to know when to break a fantasy novel into "parts" and how long those parts should be. As usual, the advice from other respondents was sketchy at best. One gal was really off base. Here's what I advised.

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Okay, listen up. Let's get one thing straight. As a teenage writer, you have my empathy. I was fifteen when I wrote my first "novel." Maybe fourteen. Who cares. What matters is that the Queen of Wrong misfired again. In her response to you, she assumed by "parts" you meant "chapters." That may be right, of course. But I doubt it, or you would have referred to them as "chapters." I'm assuming instead that by "parts" you mean "parts." As in "Part One, Part Two, Part Three" of a book, etc. And that your chapters will fall into those parts. (Forgive those who jump to conclusions and shoot from the lip, for they know not what they do.)

If this is true, your question can't be answered here. Or anywhere else, for that matter.

The number of "parts" you have in a fantasy novel is dependent upon one thing ONLY. How many do you want? How many do you need? How many do you end up with? You're the writer, after all. That means that you're the one who has the story rattling around in his head, waiting to be freed. And that means that you get to call the shots. No one else. Only you.

Now here comes the gut punch. The creator doesn't solicit advice; he creates. If you want to write a cookie-cutter junk fantasy novel filled with 5,000-word chapters (in general), go ahead. If you want to create your story in your words, go ahead. The difference? One will be the same old garbage that other writers always produce—formulaic, poorly crafted, unbelievably naive tales of fantastic proportion. The other will be yours. For good or bad, better or worse, it will be yours.

Now, you may be thinking, "Gee, that's really nifty. (Forgive me. My generation, you understand.) But he still hasn't answered my question as to whether or not I should divide my novel into parts. And if so, how many? Read More 

People often ask me for tips on how to format a work they're preparing to submit to a publisher. The answer, once you understand the rationale behind it, is quite simple. The time-tested most optimal formatting for submitting anything other than poetry to a print publication is this:

• Use 1-inch margins all the way around (top, bottom, left, and right)
• Use Times New Roman type face only (never Arial, which is far more difficult and tiring for the human eye to read)
• Use 12-point type size
• Use double-spaced lines throughout for the main body of your work
  
• Use .5-inch (one-half inch) paragraph indentations

As for pagination, put the page numbers in the Running Head always (never in the Running Foot) and include the BOOK TITLE and author's name on all pages except the first, or cover, page. A typical running head would look something like this: "THE OX BOW INCIDENT/Herda, Page 12." Set the numbering of pages to automatically paginate beginning on the second page so you don't have to change each page number manually and run the risk of getting something wrong. Read More 

A guy named Mike with a really cool pair of shades asked on the Internet the other day why stories in magazines differ from the same stories when they're published in books. Since no one else seemed able to cover this one, I dove right in.

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Hey, Mike, I can answer this one for you. As a former book, magazine, and newspaper editor, I have the response down pat. Besides, it's my pleasure to help out anyone with such cool shades!

There are a couple of reasons magazine versions of a story differ from what may eventually appear in books. The first and most obvious reason is that different editors working for different publishers in different media exert their influences on the work in different ways. One editor might concentrate on focusing the story more sharply while the other might be more concerned with cleaning up grammar and sharpening the rhetoric. As for the author's input, unless he's a world-famous proven moneymaking scribe, his or her material is going to undergo editing. Period. That's a standard clause in every  magazine, newspaper, and book publisher's contract, even if it's only understood rather than written in stone.

That's one reason. The second reason stories may differ is for the sake of brevity. While books can publish stories that are tens of thousands of words long or more, magazines can't. To understand why, think of the magazine's goals in life: To increase readership; to make money, and to entertain the readers. Let's examine the three. Read More