D. J. Herda

Let's assume for a moment that a novel thought just struck you (excuse the pun). It's a sure-fire way to get your foot in the door at a major publishing house such as Simon and Schuster or Penguin Putnam and on your way to having your book not only read but also published. And it can't miss.

Sound far-fetched? I don't know. I had that very same thought shortly after I began pitching my books to publishers and getting stock rejection slips in return. The thought occured to me, even as a writer still in his teens, that if I could only meet with an editor face-to-face to tell him how great my book is, I could convince him to take a look at a copy. Once he read it, of course, I'd be on Easy Street.

It all seemed so simple that I wondered why no one had ever thought of it before. The only question I had was how to go about doing it. Whom should I pitch? What should I ask for? A lunch meeting? An office tete-te? An afternoon in the Park?

If that thought ever occured to you, you're probably still asking yourself how to go about doing it. My answer?

You can't.

Huh?

Let me repeat. You can't. Here's why. Read More 

A newbie author recently asked if it really takes 3 - 6 months to hear back from an editor after furnishing him with sample chapters and a synopsis for a book. Naturally, Queenie jumped in with her usual inaccurate response, detailing the life of an unsolicited manuscript ending up in the ubiquitous "slush pile." Here's the reality of the situation.

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Not to question the integrity of the reply from the Queen of Wrong, but, no, not all publishers take 3 - 6 months to respond after receiving sample chapters and a synopsis. I imagine that if she had taken the time to read your question more carefully instead of shooting from the lip, she would have seen the critical elements to your question: "receiving the sample chapters and synopsis."

For a writer to have gotten far enough into correspondence with a publisher for an editor to ask to see sample chapters and a synopsis of a book submission, the author already queried that publisher and met with a positive reaction. Acquisitions editors who request chapters and synopses don't throw them in the slush pile. Ever. They tag them for reading and additional consideration as soon as practical. Read More 

The question came in the other day: How many books should I write before I publish one? The answers, almost to a one, were ridiculous. One response from a spotlight-grabbing literary wannabe stated outright: one million words. Not very grounded in reality. Here's how I corrected the narrative.

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The Queen of Wrong strikes again. There is no magic number, not "in general" or otherwise. The truth is that you can self-publish the very first novel you write and be happy with it or self-publish your tenth and hate it. Just understand that, in either case, no one else is likely to see it, let alone read and enjoy it, unless you happen to be a marketing guru. But, that's the foible of self-publishing.

As for conventionally publishing a book, here's a reality check: You have nothing to say about when you "publish one." That, my confused newbie friend, is totally up to the marketplace. You can "try" to have a book published by submitting it to a conventional, advance-paying publisher, but whether or not it's accepted isn't up to you; it's up to the publisher. It's a competitive market out there, and all conventional publishers know it. I estimate that more than ninety-nine percent of all submissions to conventional publishers are rejected out of hand. Read More 

A curious beginning writer recently asked on a forum if it's time-consuming to publish books. I could have played along with the masses and gone off the deep end. Instead, here's what I thought was the best way to handle the question.

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No. Publishing books is neither an overtly lengthy nor an intrinsically "time-consuming" process, whatever that means. Contrary to what most other respondents have advised you, publishing books itself may eat up no more time than shopping for a new car or closing a loan on your house, and it could be lickety-split, depending upon your definition and several unknown entities missing from your question.

Here's what I mean.

For starters, you didn't ask about writing books for publication. You asked about publishing books. The time it takes for that varies with conventional versus POD or self-publishing. While conventionally published books may take from ten months to two years or more, depending upon a large number of variables, they may also take only a few weeks. That's if a particular book's subject matter is timely; if the book is time-sensitive, and if the market is chomping at the bit to read about what the book's author has to say. The first tell-all book on the life and death of Princess Diana, for example, appeared within weeks of her demise. She was killed in a car crash on August 31, 1997, and a book by Simon and Schuster hit the streets that same year. Several more publishers released books not long after.
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The other day, I stumbled across a forum writer who wanted to know how to tell when his book is good enough to submit to an agent or a publisher. Despite some solid, thoughtful responses, he received a lot of misinformation. Here's how I handled the situation.

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You have received some pretty good responses here, except for the nonsense the Queen of Wrong sent you. The truth is you can revise the heck out of your book, have it edited and critiqued, and revise it some more. That still doesn't mean it's as "ready as it's ever going to be" for publication. No. Sometimes waiting a few days, weeks, or months between editing sessions can help you approach your work with a fresh set of eyes and turn it from a turn-down into an acceptance.

Also, if you hire an editor or critic and happen to hire the wrong ones (much easier to do than finding the right ones, sadly), they'll be absolutely no help to you at all and may actually harm you in your quest for publication. Surprise, surprise.

And, sending out queries is not the only way to find out if your book is ready for the "Show." In fact, it's the poorest and least reliable way. Editors and agents often turn down books that are, in fact, fully "ready" but simply not to their liking or not something the recipients believe is marketable. They may also feel the book is too short or too long or written in a genre or even a point-of-view that the publishers/agents aren't looking to acquire. If you submit your book for publication, assuming the proof is in the pudding, you're likely to be discouraged for all the wrong reasons. Read More 

Someone asked online the other day about whether or not a beginning author needs copyright insurance for any sort of liability. He received some ridiculous and potentially harmful answers. Hopefully, my response set him straight.

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There have been some horrible answers here. Possibly because the phrase "copyright insurance" is meaningless in English. There is no insurance for copyright of which I'm aware because it's unnecessary. If, however, you're asking about author's liability insurance against copyright-infringement actions, then I get it. No one else did, including the respondent who advised you that you won't need liability insurance as long as you write fiction or tell the truth in your nonfiction writing. That respondent is way off base. Here's why.

Anyone can sue anyone else for virtually anything in the United States. Whether or not that plaintiff's action will prevail in a court of law is another matter. So, with that understood, it all boils down to a question of likelihood. Just as with any type of insurance coverage, you have to ask yourself about the chances of your needing it before buying it. As a writer, in other words, you won't actually need liability insurance until you actually need liability insurance. Read More 

Someone asked this on a forum the other day, and the responses were horrible. Here's what I had to say.

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Well, considering the source, the first answer you received is predictably dead wrong. Not even close. I suggest you make a point of ignoring such responses from people who are only guessing at what they believe to be correct or possibly have an even more insidious reason for making snap judgments and responding with false answers or, just as bad, those that don't come close to responding to what you asked.

To answer the question you did ask and not something about which some respondents totally missed the mark. My response to How can a beginning writer learn from rejection if the editor doesn't provide constructive criticism is simple: He can't. But you can. At least, you can learn something from a stock rejection slip, and that's this: Your book may not be ready for publication. At least, it may not be by that publisher. How can you tell for sure? You're going to have to put on your Big Boy Editor's Hat and see for yourself where your book misses the mark. Either that or hire someone more knowledgeable than you to do the job. Read More 

I was thinking back to when I started writing at the ripe old age of fourteen. Back to when words flowed from my cranium like teeth from a drunkard's mouth. Every thing I wrote down was agonizingly painful. By the time I finished whatever tome upon which I'd been working, I was exhausted. And I could only hope my work was long enough to qualify as a novel.

Often, it wasn't.

So, what do you do if you complete your Great American What's-It and find it's only 39,000 words long? Is that long enough to qualify? Before sitting back on your laurels, think about a story my agent once told me about a fledgling writer who once submitted a 45,000-word manuscript to a conventional publisher. The editor sent it back with the note, "This isn't a novel; it's a pamphlet."

Ouch! Painful. Especially since a little bit of inquiring would have prevented that.

If you find yourself in a similar situation, the question becomes, What am I going to do about it? You can't submit your work to a conventional publisher as a novel, and few publishers these days publish novellas, a label that's more in keeping with your work's length. I'm guessing you had your heart set on becoming a published "novelist," anyway, which is difficult to pull off without a novel under your belt.

True, you can publish it yourself and label it anything you want, but you won't be fooling anyone, and you certainly won't be setting yourself up as a successful novelist. So, my guess is that you wouldn't mind expanding the book to sixty or seventy thousand words or more so you can submit it for conventional publication. Am I right?

My next guess is that you don't have a clue as to how to go about doing that since you already poured everything you have into your story—beginning, middle, and end—and don't have much left in the tank. Right again? Read More 

Someone asked me on Quora the other day where he could self-publish a book with an agent. He received a number of inappropiate replies. Here's what I told him.

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Well, welcome to the world of ridiculous answers. I see you don't specify whether your book is fiction or nonfiction, print or eBook, but that didn't stop one perennially notorious misleading respondent from advising you that your "novel" isn't long enough to be publishable, which in itself is inaccurate advice. If you're self-publishing either fiction or nonfiction, there are no rules on length. Nor are there any hard-and-fast dicta on sales and pricing of self-published books.

If you're serious about self-publishing, you should know that not only don't you need an agent but also you won't find an agent willing to take you on as a client. So, you're right on track there! Read More 

Let's begin with an assumption: You contact a restaurant owner about writing a review about his restaurant for publication. And, let's also say that you're on a, umm, "tight" budget. When you get to the restaurant, the owner volunteers to "comp" you a meal featuring some of their signature entrees. You're delighted.

Question: Is that ethical?

Here's my take on the subject after more than half a century of writing reviews on everything from restaurants to luxury resorts. If a restaurant owner (or anyone) pays you in the form of a free meal to write a review about them and you accept the gratuity, you can't in good conscience write a review for publication without revealing that fact to a publisher. To do otherwise would constitute at least the appearance of pay-to-play. And, you simply can't do that in the world of "journalistic integrity."

Now, if you want to run your review past the New York Times or The Washington Post, I wouldn't worry too much about journalistic integrity. The editors there haven't heeded that concept for decades. And I speak from experience as a former columnist for The Washington Post, L.A. Times, Chicago Tribune, and many others for years. But that was eons ago when a publication's integrity and impartiality were paramount. Today, they're little more than tantamount—to sales. Everything else, it seems, takes a back seat. Read More 

A novice author asked a forum question the other day about why a publisher should object to his making 100 copies of his book to give to his relatives. Here's how I responded.

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I see that one respondent, Andrew, gave you sound advice. Several other respondents should learn not to speak without thinking things through or knowing what they're talking about. Not the first time by far, and knowing at least one of them and her propensity for her shoot-from-the-lip, misleading replies, it won't be the last.

The bottom line has nothing to do with who copyrights the book in your name—you or a publisher. You already own copyright; who registers that copyright for you is a moot point. Nor has the bottom line anything to do with making a publisher's job "more complicated and difficult for them to deal with." It does have to do with sales. Whether or not you already have a publishing contract or hope to land one down the line, when you cut into the marketing gene pool, you deprive a publisher of that many potential sales. That's true whether we're talking about 100 or 100,000 copies and whether it's an existing or a potential publisher. Read More 

Someone on a forum asked for advice in finding an editor who can help him get published. My reply, as you can see, went a little beyond his basic question of "Can you recommend an editor who can help me find a publisher for my book?"

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Sure, I can. But, a word of caution. Few book editors have both conventional publishing house connections (rare) and literary representation (even more rare) to go along with their editing skills. Also, not all book editors will tackle all properties. Some of the reasons an editor may pass on a book are these:

1. It's fiction, and the editor handles only nonfiction, or vice versa.
2. The amount of work required is more than the editor can handle at the time, meaning the book requires more work than he's able to devote to it.
3. The author's style doesn't appeal to the editor, and he doesn't believe he can contribute to the project and still remain true to the author's literary voice.
4. The work is a Children's/Young Adult book, and the editor handles only Adult titles, or vice versa.
5. The genre is one the editor doesn't like (Romance or Mystery, for example) or one with which the editor hasn't any experience or comfort level.
6. The remuneration offered is not worth the effort.
7. The work is nowhere near ready for editing and preparation for publishing. Read More 

If you're absolutely serious about starting a publishing company, I have to say I don't know why. But, after that, I do have a few ideas for you to consider. For example:

1. Identify your market and how many potential readers there are based upon a factual analysis. How many will there be when you bring out your first issue two or three years down the line?
2. Identify your competition. It doesn't matter how big your market is if your competition is flooding the field. If you have the field all to yourself (highly unlikely) and you have plenty of potential subscribers to pitch (also highly unlikely), you're looking good.
3. Decide upon publication frequency (daily, weekly, monthly, etc.) based upon responses to the above.
4. Identify the areas of talent you'll need to recruit/hire to make your publication a reality.
5. Hire a good attorney specializing in publishing law.
6. Purchase a potential targeted subscribers' list based upon subject area and interest. And then, buy a second one from a different vendor. And a third. And fourth. And fifth.
7. Hire someone to work up a direct-mail campaign, and target your e-mail and direct-mail subscriber lists.
8. Hire someone to tabulate the results.
9. Hire an accounting firm to keep track of your subscribers, money received, and accounts billable and payable. Read More 

If you've tried everything you can think of to land a literary agent to represent your work to publishers, you've probably failed. Through no fault, necessarily, of your own.

Welcome to the Real World of book publishing. You know, the one where landing a publishing contract is only the second most challenging thing for a writer to do; landing an agency contract is number one. Far and away.

The reason is simple mathematics. Sure, for every book published, probably a few hundred or more go unpublished. But for every agent landed, thousands of authors get turned down. The reason is that there are only so many agents to go around, and they're in huge demand. That's because good agents can offer fledgling writers invaluable advice, so they act as sounding boards and dispensers of knowledge. As a result, book publishers increasingly turn to agents to "screen" the work submitted to them in order to save their editors time. Agents weed out the junk (or the vast majority of it) and pass along only the best of the works they receive from their represented writers. Read More 

A writer asked this question in a forum the other day, and the only respondent besides myself brave enough to tackle it was someone with little or no experience writing headlines!

"Brave" enough, but not smart enough. His answer was anything but helpful, and I felt sorry for the person who asked. So, of course, I had to throw my hat into the ring. Here's what I wrote:

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Contrary to what one "content writer/copywriter/marketer" wrote in response to your question, a solid newspaper headline doesn't hinge upon who cares about what the article says or why you should care. That's simply absurd. Writing a newspaper headline, which is what you asked about, requires seven steps. (Well, it does in my experience, at least, although others may have a different take on the subject.) The same holds for article headline writing in any medium, by the way. Read More 

You know, a lot of people must be asking that question, and I'm not surprised, considering the phenomenal growth of some on-line professional job agencies of late. Everywhere you look, someone is promoting the idea of finding professional workers online.

Even though it's tempting, I'm not going to put down Fiverr or Upwork or any of those other job mills because some writers struggling to make a buck sign up there and, hopefully, earn a few dollars now and again. As others have said, though, professionals (I mean the time-tested pros who can write any genre in any voice and do so successfully) don't. When I'm not working hard on perfecting my own books for publication (and articles, scripts, etc.), and when I'm not out photographing, designing book covers, critiquing and reviewing books, or painting or sculpting, I take a ghostwriting or book-doctoring job now and again. When I do, I devote my full attention to the task at hand because I know the author who hired me wants to see the finished product as soon as possible. The perfect finished product.

I can't work for jobbers and make the kind of money I'm forced to charge because the quality of my work demands a huge amount of my time, skills, and energy. People who go to an agency looking for someone to hire are looking for top quality professionals at bargain-basement rates. They usually find them—the bargain-basement rates, that is. Top quality professionals? Uh-uh. Don't even go there. Read More 

Several people have asked me that over the years, even wondering if I've ever hired a ghostwriter myself. Of course, the answer is no. I've never needed one. I am a ghostwriter. That doesn't help others evaluate whether or not they should consider hiring a ghost, I know. But this might.

When I hire on as a ghost for authors, I work closely with them. That's pretty common. What's far less common is that I help them land a literary agent to handle the sales of the work once I've finished with my end, and I make myself available for any editorial changes that might be required in seeing the book through to publication—no matter how long the pitching process goes on. For example:

I finished a memoir for a client, who loved it. But, the overall consensus from publishers after a few months of shopping it around was that it was too short.

Okay, I got it. So, I came up with some scenarios for additional material, received the author's blessing, and, with a little more information, worked up another 15,000 words, or roughly a quarter as much as we had originally prepared. No extra charge to the author, just a little more time to round things out. When I was finished and the author approved it, we turned it over to the agent who went back to the original publisher with it. The result was a sale to a conventional, advance-paying publisher, and the book is currently being prepared for release as I write. Read More 

That's what someone asked me the other day. Of course, the answer was obvious. Here's what I said:

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First of all, your question is a bit nebulous. How much is "so much"? Three dollars? Thirty? Three hundred? Three thousand?

Second, what kind of quality do you want from an editor? Slop? Garbage? Fair-to-meddlin'? Decent? Good? Top-of-the-line? It makes a difference. Here's my estimation.

If you're like most writers who are just getting started (I make that leap of faith because experienced writers don't have to ask that question), your material is … uhh, how do I put this? Oh, yeah. Not great. Not good. In fact, it's downright sloppy, bordering on horrible. Your manuscript is loaded with typos, grammatical errors, syntax problems, punctuation mistakes, and lots and lots of developmental issues, like poor character development, wandering narrative, weakness in storyline, unrealistic dialogue, plot incongruities, and so forth. You don't know that, of course, because you don't have the training, skills, and discipline to be able to tell. That's why you need a professional editor. Read More 

That's the question somemone asked online recently, and the person received a ton of bad--no, make that horrible--advice. So, of course, I couldn't pass up an opportunity to set things straight, which I did.

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First, regarding the respondent who claimed that print books "often have a short shelf life, lay unused or are discarded," he couldn't be more wrong. Dead wrong. In fact, just the opposite is true. Whereas eBooks are never really part of your physical property, print books are. Unfortunately, eBooks can vanish from your possession at the drop of a hat—or the bankruptcy, sale, or merger of an eBook or eReader manufacturer or the whim of some corporate CEO. And most eBooks aren't transferable to another person, while print books are generally around for dozens of years if not longer and rarely lay unused or are discarded. Just the opposite. If someone no longer needs or wants a print book, he often sells it or gifts it to someone else to enjoy.

As for the same respondent's contention that "traditional bound books use precious resources," is he kidding? Books come from paper, which comes from trees, both of which are manageable and renewable. You can hardly say that about the high-tech, carbon-heavy imprint of an eReader or eBook manufacturer. Digital manufacturing is far more labor-intensive and worse for the environment. It's also subject to the fluctuating influences of foreign component manufacturers, worker strikes, unstable prices, and the unavailability of some exotic materials for manufacturing. Also, the last time I checked, eReaders don't remove deadly carbon dioxide from the air and replace it with purified, life-sustaining oxygen, but renewable trees do. And, the last time I looked, trees don't require costly, environmentally degrading electricity in anywhere near the amount that digital publishing gobbles up in order to grow and remain viable throughout an eBook's lifetime. Read More 

Are you kidding me? Are you serious? You're actually asking other people if you should spend good money to get your book published, when you have Web searches at your fingertips? And, for the record, how would anyone else know what you "should" do?

Perhaps you mis-phrased the question. Perhaps you meant instead, Would publishing with Newman Springs be a wise decision? In which case …

Sure. Publish with them. If you don't mind publishing with a vanity press. Don't know what that means? LOOK IT UP! It's your money, and it's your future. Why turn either one over to the opinion of a group of strangers?

At some point in your life, you're going to realize that you have to take control of your own life's decisions personally. No one else is going to be able to step in and tell you how to do it right. Oh, you'll always find people willing to tell you how to do things. But correctly? To your benefit? Hardly. After all, it's no skin off their nose. And no bucks out of their account! I've seen it a million times: Read More